Bear Foot

I think they’re called ‘Bootie Slippers’ – they’re warm enough to protect your feet from the morning bathroom coldness. They’re cheap enough to replace, so risk an emergency bread & milk run, get them ruined and buy a new colour. They’re comfortable enough to relegate all other footwear to the ‘special occasions only’ wardrobe. Problem is, they’re for girls.

I couldn’t care less about the little bow on the side. Right now, it feels like I’ve had a feet transplant with a polar bear. Just imagine the poor thing, tip-toeing around Alaska with my bony size nines.

It’s natural for our extremities to be the coldest parts of our body. So why have we tried to warm our tootsies up with traditional, cardboard-like, granddad slippers over the years? In a time when Louis Spence is accepted on all TV channels, men shouldn’t be afraid to treat their feet to these Faux Fur delights.

Is it me or did this post just get really camp towards the end?


This footwear does not have any feminine side effects. To be safe, while wearing them, remember to scratch one self 4 times an hour and don’t be afraid to pass wind.

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