coffee copywriting

Coffeewriting – Putting the Cool in ‘Cool Beans’

coffee copywritingWhen a fresh pot has been brewed and its almost wooden scent splinters the air, everybody in the room (even the non-coffee drinker) is lifted. I envy any advertiser with a coffee-related client.

“Morning coffee is like an airplane oxygen mask – you put the mask on first before helping the others.”

Writing copy for the jar itself must be a joy – just three lines of creative space to describe why these particular beans have a flavour too good to miss out on. It’s like a haiku but instead of a picturesque riddle, the content is crafted around something worth talking about, something critical to productivity and daily happiness.

Let’s take Cafédirect’s Machu Picchu coffee from Peru:

“Using the same award-winning 100% Arabica beans as our Machu Picchu Roast & Ground, this single origin instant coffee retains the rich, smooth taste with dark chocolate overtones that are so distinctive to the Machu Picchu region.”

Ignoring the fact Cafédirect’s writer expects the customer to already know about their Roast & Ground product, this one line does the job.

Loads of hot drinks are described as ‘rich’ or ‘smooth’ but I think those words work (accidentally or not) on a subtle level here –  reassuring the reader that this coffee will feel familiar enough for any open-mind to try.

The ‘dark chocolate overtones’ are what make this coffee ‘the shit’ and by attaching that unique taste to the origin of the beans, the customer feels like they’re sampling a piece of Peru with this fresh twist on coffee.

In my opinion, that has become the key to loyal customer acquisition in recent years – offering something truly unique. Starbucks and Costa will always be successful (dodging tax helps) but the modern day coffee lover is looking for that rawer taste,,it’s the modern consumer who loves the caramel macchiato.*

“This some serious gourmet shit.”

If you could jar-up the texture and freshness of a home-brewed Peruvian coffee, it would sell at a premium price to aficionados who want that to be their drink. NESCAFÉ Original is semi-doomed in the same way as the gastro pub – younger generations are seeking out fresh experiences over the generic.

The idea reminds me of that controversial scene from Pulp Fiction where Tarantino’s character brings the ‘gourmet shit’ on Samuel L and John Travolta.

Humanity’s need for coffee is akin to its need for chocolate and that need is never going to disappear. Battling for market share depends on two things; great tasting product and seamless marketing.

Where’s the sensory language?

With an industry so globally interesting to write about, Cafédirect has no excuse to not revise its average copywriting on what is actually a nice, smoky-tasting, jar of instant.

The subject matter is a content writer’s dream – whoever has that responsibility for Cafédirect owes it to us all to do a better job,,in my thirsty opinion anyway.

People can travel the world in more ways than one and for me, tasting a brew sourced from somewhere I can’t visit without first having an injection, is one of those ways. I want to go on holiday every single day and I see the content on a jar of coffee as the metaphorical brochure – the ideal blank page for any creative copywriter.

Every day’s a school day:

The world’s first webcam was invented by scientists at Cambridge University, purely to monitor the fullness of their coffee pot.

*I love the Starbucks caramel macchiato but if I had the option to try some weird coffee that I can’t pronounce the name of, served from an independent vendor, I would take the latter every time.




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The Sport Report

The Sport Report is a satirical sports news website developed by JDG Media.  The purpose of the site is to deliver sports news in the form of blogging and video, from a light-hearted angle.

I produce most of the content for the site and am responsible for its general upkeep.  Through trial and error, I’ve grasped the basics of running a multimedia website through working on the back end of The Sport Report.

It’s a really fun website to work with as I have a lot of freedom in what I can write.  Plus it requires updates every week, so it keeps me on my toes.  Sometimes the writing is a little close to the bone but I can assure you no sportspeople were harmed during the making of the site!

Though all of my articles will be documented here, if you would like to see the posts in their full ‘glory’ then check them out directly at The Sport Report, where almost all pieces will be accompanied with images and/or videos.

Polite Baddies

Politeness is not just a cleaner dialogue with generic tag-words (please/thank you) on the end of a nasty sentence – it is a customary aspect of being professional and should always be applied when communicating, especially on the page/web-page.

Working part-time in retail has granted me with enough examples of impoliteness and misdirected political correctness to last a life time…or at least until the end of this blog.  From ugly attitudes orated through received pronunciation, to harsh letters of complaints which seem almost poetic in voice – I’ve came across every type of masked rudeness there is to come by.

Fortunately, my passion lies with copywriting and I do not let the venom from my day job poison my life.  Instead, I use it as ink and channel my anger onto the page (as you can see).  However, it is important to remember not to convey such emotion when writing on behalf of a client – even if you’re ‘polite’ with your choice of words.

Never allow your own agenda to infect a post or better yet – don’t have your own agenda at all (other than to complete the contract as best you can).  Your own blogs and publications are your literary filters for stress and emotion, confide in them as much as you like.

Unless the contract specifically demands otherwise, polite language is the least a client expects from you.  Note – there’s a balance between being polite and being patronising, to avoid the latter you simply need to understand your target audience.  For example, it could be patronising to overly stress the importance of clean hands in a surgeon’s handbook, whereas it would be more acceptable to do so for a resident biology student.

The beauty of the web-page is that you can go back and tweak the language to deliver certain messages in certain ways, instead of blabbing carelessly about a subject and accidentally saying something inappropriate.  It’s easy to decorate the page with a polite lexicon but it’s pointless to do so if the undertone is tainted.

Looking back over this blog, some could say I’ve patronised every copywriter in the world by discussing such a basic notion of the industry.  But you’ve got to remember this is my own blog and not a client’s, therefore I can say whatever I like – you big gang of ‘orrible trolls!

Thank you so much for reading.