Z for Zit

Kayaking in the Liverpool-Leeds canal is perhaps the most random thing I’ve done this month.  Me and three (male) friends sailing in our pointy, floating capsules and making the most of what seems to be the only bit of sunshine England will receive all year.  I highlight the fact we are all males because it’s very important…

When four humans with penises get together, they inevitably act like four penises – especially if they have boats!  So, not one of us had a saftey helmet and not one of us could navigate forwards without spinning around like a sycamore seed.  Bear in mind we had to evade barges driven by people using the canal for its conventional function.

So, with two of us in the water at a time you would think the best thing to do would be have race.  However, because of our lack of kayak training (by ‘lack of’ I mean we, collectively, have more experience in space flight), a race would be pointless due to our sycamore seed syndrome mentioned earlier.

Any man reading this already knows what the alternative activity turned out to be – bashing each other with the oars. Yet, this was equally as difficult to master and surprisingly exhausting.  Just as I give up swinging, my opponenent caught me with the corner of his paddle, right in the middle of my forehead.

It’s hard to explain the feeling – it was kind of like a horse had sticky taped a bumblebee to it’s hoof and kicked the sting into my fod.  When we got back to the cars I checked it out in the mirror.  It was essentially a third nipple.

The wound somehow developed into a zit and accompanied me for the rest of the week.  To put it’s size into perspective – I had to pay for three tickets when me and my girlfriend (yes, my girlfriend stayed with me despite the nubin), went to the cinema.

Now that it’s gone I feel like I’ve lost an eye or something.  The moral of the story is take up a hobby that you’re fully capable of doing and preferably in a suitable environment i.e. don’t play aqua-gladiators in one of the busiest canals in the country.

Cartridge People are one of the top internet providers of ink in the world.  They specialise in third-party cartridges which cost significantly less than the originals.

On behalf of JDG Media, I have typed up so much original copy on ink that if I were to print it off, I would need a truck load of ink itself!

Through this copywriting contract I developed the research skills to quickly and accurately attack any title Cartridge People could throw at us.  Each article needed to be approximately 400 words and needed to be engaging, informative copy.

By consistently producing a variety of pieces for Cartridge People, I discovered that copywriting is the job for me.  Whereas I can write across a range of different formats, I excelled in this particular field and my objective is to continue to do so long-term.

Due to the contract parameters between Cartridge People and JDG Media, I cannot display my articles here.  Visit Cartridge People to view them directly.  To my knowledge – the posts will gradually be uploaded onto the site one by one over the next year (2011).

Jersey Swap is a unique website that aims to brings sport fans from across the world together via the tradition of post-game shirt-swapping.

My involvement with the site requires me to blog about anything ‘jersey’ related (that’s jersey as in kit – none of this Jersey Shore palaver).

The work is produced on behalf of JDG Media, it’s an exciting project to be a part of and one that will no doubt grow in the years to come.

If you’re a fan of any sport that requires clothing then sign up on the site today and start swapping some merchandise – it’s like swapping stickers in the playground all over again!

Due to the contract parameters between Jersey Swap and JDG Media I cannot display my work here.  If you want to check some of it out then visit the site and view the blog directly.