WAG of the Week – Stacey Giggs

Stacey Cooke has told her cheating husband Ryan Giggs: ‘Go out and play the game of your life’ ahead of this Saturday’s Champions League final showdown between United and Barcelona…

Stacey married Giggs four years ago and the pair have two children together.  For the sake of those children, Giggsy tried to keep a lid on his affair with Imogen Thomas by spending nearly £200,000 on a super-injunction.  However, the whole situation went sour pretty quickly and soon enough, everybody knew Bruce Willis was a ghost…sorry – wrong secret.

Stacey has stomached a massive blow to her marriage this week and given her full support to her other-half as he approaches the biggest game left in his career.  It’s an admirable display of forgiveness and commitment – what we don’t know is what the Welshman had to agree to in order to receive his pardon…but we’ve guessed:

– Don’t sleep with Imogen Thomas again.
– From now on, text Stacey my every move, even if it’s a jog down  the Stretford  End for a warm-up.
– No more shows that may feature Imogen Thomas shall be viewed or mentioned (Basically, all programmes that use the word ‘celebrity’ in the title).
– When buying a super-injunction in the future, I must enquire about how ‘super’ it actually is before paying.
– Never underestimate the we-don’t-give-a-crap-about-legality attitude of the public.
– The argument ‘But everybody else has done her once’ is always invalid.
– Stop hanging about with Wayne Rooney.

In all seriousness, if Giggs hadn’t implemented a gagging order, nobody would have found out or cared.  He might as well have spent £200,000 on a huge ACME spotlight to follow him around. MP John Hemmings named and shamed the United winger in parliament last week and opened the floodgates for vultures like me to feed off the story and write something (just because we can…I think/hope).

Anyway, it’s a massive own-goal on Gigg’s part but his wife has showed real strength by sticking with him for the kids. For that Stacey Cooke/Giggs, we honour you with the WAG of the Week award – previously received by a certain Imogen Thomas for igniting this wildfire in the first place – oops!

Muppet of the Week – Tony Bellew

Tony Bellew called Nathan Cleverly a ‘F***ing rat’ during a live and lively pre-fight press conference but that’s not the reason we think he’s a muppet…

We’re all for the use of expletives on live TV because it’s funny to watch nervous presenters try to apologise.  Bellew, 28, had no regard for the SKY Sports cameras and after just a minute of mild banter, was throwing swear words around like wild hooks.

His opponent Nathan Cleverly, 24, was on the receiving end of some fantastic insults but went on to use his own curse later on – we can’t repeat it here but it began with ‘P’ and rhymed with ‘Rick’.

The fight was originally scheduled for Cleverly to face Jurgen Brahmer but after Brahmer ‘chickened out’ (as Cleverly put it), Tony Bellew admirably stepped in with just 24 hours notice!  He made sure everyone knew about it too and demanded ‘the upmost respect’ from his Light Heavyweight World Champion opponent.

When Welshman Cleverly said his scouse opponent was using ‘excuses’, Bellew blew his fuse, exploding into a frenzy of harsh words.  ‘F***ing little rat’ was a favourite of ours and we particularly liked ‘I’m going to smash your rat nose everywhere.’

Security had to force Bellew away from the table but he somehow convinced them that he’d calmed down (no scouse reference intended).  Upon allowing him to return, the 15-and-0 man changed his tune and switched to annoying-mode.  It was a clever tactic as his counterpart resorted to swearing himself to get a point across.

Bellew ironically, and knowingly I think, with: ‘I can’t believe you have just used that language, you ought to be ashamed of yourself.’  He spent the rest of the conference with half a smile and seemed proud of his ability to get inside Cleverly’s head so easily.

It was apparent that his hard-case approach to the meeting had gotten the better of the champion.  The two fighters shook hands when the conference adjourned and after all the mouthing off, Bellew was expected to give a fiery performance in the ring…

…unfortunately he didn’t make it that far.  Tony Bellew failed to make weight for the fight and ultimately made all the press room antics embarrassing and pointless.  What a muppet!

Perhaps we’re being unfair as the lad did only have a day to get prepared and I certainly couldn’t get in shape on 24 hours notice for a fight with Nathan Cleverly – certainly not while Subway exists (other fast-food chains are available and nice.)

Currently, the two camps are negotiating a fight in the upcoming future, so Bellew may well get his chance to make us look like the muppets.  Keep checking in here and we’ll keep you posted on the details.

Team of the Week – Man U and Man City

Manchester had a fantastic week this week with City winning the FA Cup and United clinching their 19th league title to overtake Liverpool’s league record of 18.

Let’s begin with United – when Sir Alex Ferguson took over at the club in 1986 he famously vowed to ‘knock Liverpool off their perch’.  This week, he fulfilled that promise.  In a country where promises are rarely kept (AhemnickccleggAhem), Fergie’s accomplishment is one of the most admirable in football…in a separate interview, he also vowed to chew the same piece of gum until United overtook Liverpool.

United needed to at least draw with Blackburn in order to win the league and despite a resilient Blackburn side fighting for Premier League survival, the reds managed to come out with a scrappy 1-1 draw.  Blackburn led through Brett Emerton’s 20 minute strike and a frustrated United side resorted to squeezing a penalty out of Phil Dowd and his linesman, which Rooney converted comfortably.

Wayne’s celebrations were again typically aggressive rather than joyful and it makes you wonder how he reacts when he concedes a goal on FIFA 11 (see link).  He was instantly mobbed by smiling United players though, including Ryan Giggs who claimed his 12th league title after his side held on to that 1-1 draw.

Giggs has been one of the greatest ever servants to Man United and despite his name being blackened by internet rumours involving a super-injunction, he’s remained completely focused on his football.  His love affair with the Premier League trophy is no secret and he got his hands all over that nice pair of handles once again at the final whistle.

The Manchester glory didn’t stop there though, just a few hours later Manchester City defeated Stoke City 1-0 at Wembley in the FA Cup final.

Roberto Mancini controversially started Mario Balotelli but the decision proved to be a wise one as the Italian muppet caused all kinds of trouble for Stoke City.  His curling shot from outside the box was top-corner bound only to be palmed away by a fully-stretched Sorensen, 25 minutes into the game.

Balo was involved again just ten minutes later, forcing a gap in the Stoke defence and allowing David Silva to come onto a perfect half-volley opportunity.  Silva got over the ball a little too much and drilled it into the ground, bouncing it over the cross bar.

Jermaine Pennant was Stoke’s most lively player in the first half but after going over on his ankle just before the interval, he never looked the same.  He scuffed a shot in the 49th minute when Stoke were finally amounting some pressure.

City responded with aggression, too much aggression at times – Yaya Toure studded Wilkinson in the back of the calf before Balotelli roughed up a hobbling Pennant with a shunt in the back.  Tevez missed a decent chance shortly after and Stoke replied with a sublime Etherington pass to Kenwyn Jones, who couldn’t manage to toe poke the ball through Joe Hart’s legs like he intended.

Etherington was substituted straight after that peachy pass and had put in a great shift considering he had just 18 days to recover from a hamstring injury prior to the final.

Balotelli was all over the place thereafter and was becoming more and more awkward for Stoke to deal with. His box presence was a major threat and after executing a cheeky back-heel to David Silva in the six yard box, the ball was dangerously bobbling about in front of the keeper – somehow it arrived at the left foot of Yaya Toure, who smashed it home to give City the 1-0 lead.

City typically held on to their slender lead and although they’ve come under scrutiny for too many one-nils this season, it’s obviously paid dividends and the frightening thing is – this could just be the start of a blue uprising from Manchester.

So it was a historic day for the city of Manchester, if only the two clubs could put their differences aside and unite as one – they could dominate domestic and European football and call themselves Manchester United…wait, no – that wouldn’t quite work.