WAG of the Week – Imogen Thomas

Former Big Brother housemate Imogen Thomas has slept with a Premiership footballer! Okay, so that’s not so surprising as to warrant an exclamation mark but because of the mystery-man’s gagging order, the whole country is playing Guess Who…I always thought Bill with the ginger beard looked a bit shifty…

Okay, so we don’t know who Imogen has slept with and even if we did we couldn’t mention it because the gagging order puts the blocks on it.  What we can do is give you some information about the stunning Imogen Thomas.

Imogen began her ‘celebrity’ life by featuring on hit show, Big Brother.  The programme finished in 2010 for good apparently but while it was alive, it was kind of a WAG super womb.  By which I mean multiple WAGs spawned from the house.

Imogen Thomas or IT for short, was born in 2006 (that’s her WAG birth, not her real birth – that’s just sick!) and was catapulted into the tabloids when a sex tape of hers leaked onto the net.  Embarrassing as it was for her, it also ignited her career as a professional top-taker-offer…I mean, glamour model.

She’s without doubt the sexiest thing to come out of Wales next to Gareth Bale’s hat-trick against Inter Milan but Imogen Thomas has caused all kinds of naughty this week by revealing she’s slept with a married Prem star.  Trying to guess who is a very dangerous game because of this gagging order malarkey but it’s kind of difficult to guess anyway:

IT has slept with Russell Brand and Jermaine Defoe in the past, not at the same time but what I’m saying is – those two are from two different planets.  Imogen doesn’t seem to have a ‘type’ to make the whittling down any easier.  A couple of names have been batted about the web after IT revealed she has ‘ a lot in common’ with this player.  Either that means he’s Welsh or his bra size is 32DD.

To be honest, I don’t know why he’s hiding at all.  If it was me who bedded Imogen Thomas I’d want the opposite of a gagging order, I’d want the whole world to know and by law too!

Shagging Order? Slagging Order? WAGging order? What can we call it?  Get back to us in the forum below…

Muppet of the Week – Amir Khan

Luis Pabon is the Puerto Rican referee who stopped the Amir Khan fight at the weekend because Khan’s challenger, Paul McCloskey, had a shaving cut.

The fight was on the ropes before it even started with Sky Sports pulling out of the pay-per-view contract and suggesting to broadcast it on Sky Sports 3, earlier in the week.  Instead, Khan cut his boxer’s-nose off to spite his face and chose to air the bout on pay-per-view channel Primetime.

After five boring rounds of Khan sniping McCloskey from a distance, everybody who paid Primetime must have been feeling a little short changed.  There was still the hope that McCloskey could cause an upset though until the ref, Luis Pabon, knocked that idea out before the end of the sixth.

The fight, typically, was dominated by Khan who won every round prior to the stoppage.  Still, Irishman Paul McCloskey was infuriated when the ref shut the place down because of a cut.  Now, I’m all for safety first and that but Zabaleta’s thigh injury during the Manchester semi-final at the weekend, was more severe than this!

Society hasn’t changed too much since the days of the Roman Empire – the mob want to be entertained and as immoral as it may seem, a little bit of blood only adds to their excitement.

However, I think we’ve named Pabon as the Muppet of the Week a little unfairly here as he was just doing his job.  It’s perhaps the sport that needs to be ‘addressed’ (taken the P out of).  The boxing game has forever been full of muppets and I wouldn’t be surprised if the cast of Sesame Street is offended by that.

Don King (Big Bird), is probably the prime example of this but more currently, Amir Khan and his team have to take some blame this week.  It was they who declared this fight worthy of ppv and yet again failed to deliver any real entertainment.  They’ve since came out stating their intent to line up a fight with Manny Pacquiao…

…now that, I will pay to see.  Pac-man versus Kermit the Frog may sound like the latest Nintendo Wii download but the reality is, it’s a ridiculous match up of the World’s best, against a lad from Bolton.  Pacquiao is different class and as long as Luis Pabon isn’t the ref, then the fight will go on long enough to see a groggy Khan look like nothing other than a Bolton wanderer.

Team of the Week – Mersey Tigers

Mersey Tigers, we have to whisper, are probably thesportreport.co.uk’s favourite British basketball team – sshhh!  Here’s why…

In their first season in 2007, the club qualified for the BBL play-offs.  In their second season, they won the BBL Cup (kind of like basketball’s Carling Cup).  In their third, the team bulldozed the play-offs.  This season, they won the BBL Trophy (FA Cup) and the British Basketball League Championship. To top it off, they won it against runners-up Newcastle Eagles, in Newcastle, to end the Geordies’ dominance of the British game and their run of three consecutive league titles.  Awesome!

It’s hard to think of another sports club who have achieved so much in their infancy.  The real kicker though, is that they won the league with an all-British squad.  Again, it’s hard to find another club, in any sport, who haven’t relied on foreign talent to acquire some silverware.

Head coach, Tony Garbelotto, is particularly proud of his team’s achievements.  The man lives and breathes basketball – I don’t just mean he’s got a plastic hoop above his bin (though he probably has because they’re loads of fun), I mean the game is life or death to him.  Or at least it seems that way when he’s courtside screaming at the BBL officials.

That’s why the fans love Tony, he wears his heart on his sleeve and sometimes gets so stressed courtside, that such an expression isn’t far from the literal truth!  His leadership has been key to the Tigers’ overthrowing of the Eagles and even now, after winning the title, he’s asking for more from the players:

The play-offs start this weekend and as far as Garbelotto is concerned, the Tigers have already underachieved by not winning that BBL Cup final in January.  If Mersey manage to retain their play-off title, then three out of four available trophies might just satisfy the coach.  What’s he going to do during close-season? – He must hammer NBA Jam or something on the Xbox.

The club played most of their home games at the ECHO Arena but when things like Dancing On Ice were in town, they became Mersey Tigers on Tour – playing in various venues across the North West (including Manchester!).  A lot of rubbish spilled out about club debts too and off-court, it’s fair to say the franchise had a difficult season.

On the court wasn’t straightforward either, with the team playing a third of their fixtures in just over a month!  The final three weeks of the season were packed with 11 games for Mersey and the ridiculous scheduling stretched the players, to say the least.

To emerge from it all as champions, is testament to the level of professionalism at the club and Mersey could well have a shout for Team of the Year.  Also, with LeBron James recently being connected to Liverpool FC and the Tigers taking the BBL by storm, don’t be surprised to see Liverpool, as a city, grow into the capital of British basketball.  We can only hope the sport grows at the same rate.